was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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