It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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