I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
