My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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