8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
