shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
i was born a porn star she said
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
