About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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