I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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