Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Panties = found
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
