Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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