Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
