Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
