He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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