He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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