I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
