Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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