Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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