And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
