thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
