Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
