she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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