Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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