Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
