Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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