I skipped work to stalk him.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Randomize
