Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
