She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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