idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
