I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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