when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I think I have vodka in my lungs
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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