you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
