Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
