this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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