when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
