all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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