How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
