he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
