who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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