im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize