Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
