His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
