either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
