Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
