You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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