There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
