Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
