Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
