when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
