im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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