1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
