"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
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