Screwed.edu
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Randomize
