he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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